~Time Goes By...

~It's been a while since that..Everyone were asking me WHY??..only me,myself and i know exactly what this is all about..i'd rather keep my mouth shut all the time..KNOW What?...I'm tired..Really2 tired..i guess i dont have to mention here what was happened..God Knows..everything..no need to explain everything..no need to find the answer..no need to do anything..JUST SHUT UP and GO..
I pray to GOD that HE will open ur heart..u'll find the answer why i did this to you..

~SO CLOSE...

~~Listen here Darling..we'll make it through..OUR LOVE WILL LASTS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER...I LOVE YOU SO MUCH..U make my world completed!

~Little princess..

~I wish i could be just like her..feel happy at all time,never worry about anything..no doubt at all..her world is beautiful..no one can stop her to smile..
i wish i could be just like her..sometimes when things become hard at time being,i just sitting alone in my own room and cry..i dont know what else to do..today,i was shocked when i saw a few photos of my past..i was throwing it all before..i SWEAR,nothing left..i deleted all the memories between me and him and nothing left..PROMISE!
on what purpose did those photos was sent?i've no idea..but for sure,it's not for good..i was shaking and started grembling..dunno what happened to me,i took a deep breathe in between..made myself a little bit comfortable..but still,it's not work!
My Question is........WHY?someday..i'll find the answer..i know i'll find what i really wanted to know..

Love story..

..U know i love U more than anythng..Everything..since our first conversation..i've had a huge crushed on ya..my feeling of ya is true..every now n then..i think of ya every seconds..minutes...hours..days..months..for sure,i think of ya all the time..take me as i am..i know that the time will come..we'll be 2gether 4ever..U are what i never knew i always wanted..

~~ SAD STORY~~

~ So here's a story about 'THEM'..
..i was looking at the eyes of someone..full of sadness..a teary eyes which was so familiar to look for..trying to hide behind the wall of everything..put the mask on it and pretending saying that everything was alright..
..i know it wasn't easy since that..some mistakes happened and i am putting myself in a crossroad once again..x sanggup rasanya membiarkan hati 'MEREKA' terluka..everytime i saw them..sepertinya ada suatu suara berbisik mengatakan "u've won the 'BATTLE' already..Now everything is yours!"....
~~NO..NO..NO..what i had won recently..i saw myself in a selfishness way and a fierced face smilling,smirk like no other..i saw other people crying..deep inside they hurt so much more..there's a hole inside their heart that no one couldn't see what exactly they felt at time being..
..Everything changed..so sudden..no expectation..
God..i dont want this way..PLS!this wasn't what i really wanted..never expected this will become this far..if i got one last chance..mau rasanya putarkan masa ke masa dulu..


..WHAT SHOULD I DO NOW?..

SOMEONE..

"..i found myself today..and ran away..something pulled me back,the voice of reason i forgot i had..all i know is you're not here to say..what you always used to say..but it's written in the sky tonight.." a beautiful song by Hillary Duff


whenever i am in a very 'down-to-earth' situation..whenever i almost surrender about everything..whenever i almost give up on something..i look up and try untuk tengok langit serta isinya..(someone told me to do so..)membawa maksud,it's some kind of relaxation teraphy..tho it's not fully working but at least ive got chilled sensation there..and ianya benar2 membantu disaat2 'masa kecederaan' seperti ini..
..terlalu banyak perkara yang tak mampu ku mengerti mengapa ianya terjadi..rasanya seperti nightmare pla..setiap malam menghantui tidur2ku dan membuat hati ini resah gelisah all the time..bukan maksudku menolak  yang telah terjadi..cumanya terdetik di hati ini,for sometimes,rasanya tidak tertanggung beban yang ku galas..mulut seperti ingin berkongsi tapi dengan siapa?does they are the right person to share with or they just a 'FAKER' hiding behind the mask of life?..there's a voice saying 'No one can really understand you,EXCEPT you..'

is that RIGHT?



P/S: i am soooo tired..tired of all those things!

...S.H.E...

~You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she’ll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she’s left.

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she’d want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on..

~A song in MY HEART..

It's quarter after 11pm..and i am still fresh..UuUuU..i was totally exhausted all day long..spending my time with little thet..and guess what??He is so active nowadays..i couldn't fight,i couldn't tahan whenever he pinched me up..he asked me to play along with him sama2 ngan his very own 'ULTRAMAN'..all i did was,i just ikut ja apa dia punya suka..i just follow wherever he will bring me to and whatever he want me to do..everytime i look at him,suatu perasaan yang sangat senang wujud jauh di sudut hati ini..

He never think about giving up..jatuh macammna sekalipun,dia tetap akan bangun and do the things he want once again..that's him..macammna sakit sekalipun,he'll cry for a second and then after a while..dia akan tertawa semula..lupa apa yang berlaku..(alangkah bagusnya...!)

i've learned so many things from him walau dalam hanya beberapa hari bersama dengannya..he teached me about life and its surrounding..about everything..tentang perkaitan setiap perkara dan kejadian yang berlaku..tho he never ever teach me manually..but spending time with him making me fikir dalam tentang hidup ini..thanks little thet..!

he'll be back to KL soon..he'll go with bianca and his mummy and daddy..i'll be missing them all..my pray will always be with them..ALWAYS!

Dear GOD..

---> How long will it be before i can get through my daily routine without feeling the wave of pain sweep over me..without sensing that knot in the pit of my stomach..without dwelling on what went wrong??..my world is spinning around..i cant make up my mind already..geezzzz..(=_+)

DEAR GOD..
~What should i do during this period of time?..i am weak already..i dunno where should i lend my hand to,where should i put my head...i need someone's shoulder to cry on..it's soooo PAINFUL..i never wanted to have all this kind of feeling..please!
~Expecting something..knowing something that might happen..
selepas satu probs,then datang lagi satu..x habis2,bahkan takkan pernah habis..What Should i do now..?im speechless already..beban yang kutanggung kini bertambah..bahu x tertahan mau menggalas semuanya..i just mampu buat sedaya upayaku..i am enduring my PAIN now..my heart aching..i just dunno what to do anymore..bukan maksud ku menyalahkan apa yang terjadi..bukan maksudku x mau terima apa yang berlaku..i just..i just..hmmm..what to say aa?
 ~I wish I was a kid again,because skinned knees are easier to fix then broken hearts..Time goes by a lot slower..i dont have other option..i dont have any choices..

~DEAR God..heal my heart..heal my feeling..you the only one i got right now..~

++SomethinG tht i Couldn't TELL anyone but YOU--->DEAR DIARY!

----->It's COMPLICATED!..
I never thought all this things became so complicated..LIFELIFE..apa life suda teach me so far?..apa sy suda bagi sma life so far?apa life bagi sy so far?soalan berpusing2..bingung bukan..?me sendiri pun bingung pa yang suda sa cakap sebenarnya..
WHOOAAA..i never asked for this kind of life bah..setiap yang berlaku nda pernah sangka ini yang akan terjadi..if only i know what gonna happen next,to be honest..i will never do this..BUT who am i mau pertikai kerja TUHAN?God knows everything..He planned everything..Manusia merancang but Tuhan yang tentukan..betul tidak?..
~People around..Tau menuding jari ja..10 kebaikan kabur dengan 1 kelemahan..sebab 1 kelemahan-->mula la..tuding jari,dipersalahkan,dihentam..what else?U named it..!Puas suda hati ini berlembut..puas suda jiwa ini merengkok..puas suda hiding behind topeng2 kehidupan..though i knw im not the right person untuk bahas hal mengenai LIFE..i dont have right untuk sebut pun anything pasal LIFE..but i have my own opinion..and i have my own decisions to choose..
--->Katalah apa saja..buatlah apa mahu kalian...andai sampai nyawa ini diambil sekalipun..ONLY i knw exactly apa yang berlaku..pandanglah serong,ludahlah muka ini dengan kebencian sekalipun..TERSERAH!SUATU HARI NANTI------>kalau sampai Tuhan izinkan all this things happen..RASAILAH NIKMATNYA..I will never ask for more..nikmati sendiri then you'll know..
~~~~FOR SURE..akan ku dapatkan apa yang sudah hilang..airmata yang jatuh ini bukan sekadar airmata kelemahan..bukan airmata kekalahan..mengalah bukan bererti kalah..I'LL GET IT BACK..!REVENGE?whatever...cakaplah apa saja..yang merasa diri ini bah..yang tau sakitnya diri ini bah..biarlah,I DON'T CARE anymore..SORRY TO SAY..

HuRt So BaD..

~~Hati ini sangat sakit....

Gambaran sebenar merujuk kepada Hati yang HANCUR ialah seperti dicarik,dikoyak,dipecahkan,dihempas..
SANGAT SAKIT..hingga x tertahan oleh tubuh ini untuk mengangkatnya..
Saat bening subuh..dikala matahari belum menampakkan diri..tanpa sedar,tears falling down slowly..No words can express how HURT i am..totally insane!
~~I said to God..

I’m living for this cause,

I lay down my life into Your hands,
I’m living for the truth,
The hope of the world in You I’ll stand,
‘Cause all I want is You...

What shud i do?i asked myself..things become harder than i expected..Berantakan..
Maunya apa mempersoalkan hak privasi individu?Maunya apa mengatur segala keadaan untuk bisa dijadikan kepentingan sendiri..memerangkap  org lain,memasang jerat tanpa perlu kuatir akan perasaan orang lain?Mengundang perasaan bersalah agar tidak lari dari setiap tingkah laku?


~~Apapun yang terjadi..
    Berjalanlah tanpa henti..
    Air mata tertahan..
    Waktu untuk dijatuhkan..(=.=)

Buatla apa mau mereka..Buatla apa suka sekali pun..Buatla semuanya,Biar hancur..Biar kelihatan tewas,Biar Buta mata yang melihat..Bisu mulut yang bercakap,tuli orang yang mendengar..

~It doesn't bother me anymore..it doesn't make sense anymore..sebab berkali-kali hati ini HANCUR berkecai..SANGAT HANCUR..meninggalkan serpihan2 yang x boleh d kutip hatta disambung sekalipun..
...Berlalulah subuh pagi meninggalkan seribu satu macam persoalan..yang jelas,semuanya BERUBAH drastik..saat perlu untuk bina sebuah mahligai,kecapinya hanya sementara..punah segalanya..
----->FORGIVE THEM..THEY DONT KNOW WHAT THEY'VE DONE..(~.~)

Qualification..

'Bosan..aku dengan penat..
Dan enyah saja kau pekat..
seperti berjelaga tika..
ku sendiri..'

----->Terkenang seketika bait2 puisi ni..puitis sungguh!really..
semenjak dua menjak ni,jantung ini terasa berdegup kencang......'dug dug..dug..dug dug..dug..'what does it means anyway?Hati resah semacam..apakah maksud 'keadaan' ku ini?..LUPAKAN keadaan ni seketika.. (Sure there's something right?,furthermore i am depend on God)..kalau makin diikut..memang DOWN giler..but something yang bagus pasal me(kadang2 la) ialah..sa suka menyendiri kalau DOWN sambil memotivasikan diri sendiri..meaning to say,PUJUK DIRI sendiri la bah kunun..(n___n)..tp x boleh selalu kan..sometimes need somebody jg untuk 'BAKAR' semangat yang  luntur..
ANYWAY,telampau melalut sampai lupa mau share sesuatu sama korang2 suma yang sedang mengikuti perkembangan blog ku ini..
LATEST NEWS---->berguling2 sa ketawa bila one of kakak ni offer sa masuk 'UNDUK NGADAU' peringkat hospital..KNOW what?i never ever terfikir pun mau masuk this kind of things!she said,why not try..just for fun maa..lagipun itulah one of life's experience..SO,sejenak sa berfikir,betul la..NIKMATI HIDUP INI SELAGI MASIH BOLEH..how sweet..but,maybe awal2 suda kena 'DISQUALIFIED'..because of tinggi x cukup,potongan badan bukan 34-25-36 size..speaking ibunda yang tunggang langgang..pa lagi?u named it..im just 'tersenyum sepanjang c kakak bagi sa motivasi untuk ikut..x pa yang sa dapat cakap just---->sa tengok muka dia and senyum ja..(n_______n)

5 am..

~It's almost 5am in the morning and my eyes still fresh!!OMAIGAD..
wut happen?i slept 2 hours only and then woke up til now..ayoo..ayoo..ayoo..What 2 do now?gosh!!dont know what 2 do..dun have any idea then..after berfikir panjang skit(masih mamai2..nda tau pa mau di buat..)then me mengambil keputusan untuk membuka laptopku..fikiranku cuma satu..SURFING and then tengok YOUTUBE..(pa mau ditengok tu aaa?)hey,dun think 'YELLOW2' aa..i just happen untuk mau tengok music video from gadis2 yang menggelarkan diri mereka 'SPICE GIRLS'..(im a big fan of them actually..)lama nda tengok ni..i miss their 'SPICE UP UR LIFE','HOLLER','WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE','LET THE LOVE LEAD THE WAY',..bla..bla..bla..etc..
GUESS WHAT??????i found their very beautiful,touching song after all..it's 'MAMA'..woooooaaaa..so touching la dis song..betul2 mengingatkan ku kepada mama 'terchentaaa'..(apa khabar mamaku nun jauh disana?)hopefully that everything is fine there..how i miss pulang kampung terchentaa..but apakan dayaku,cuti panjang skit then i'll go back home..i cant wait to see my new niece..little BIANCA LOURDES..(~_~)
sending my 'KISS' from far away to u..tunggu aunty aa..will cubit2 your pipi then..will hug and dukung you til puas..tunggu ya..(^_^)
hmm..o ya,i plan go to somewhere at the end of may..but not sure whether jadi or not..but whatever it is..it is just a simple plan to chill out for a while..sementara orang2 sabah merayakan kaamatan sambil aramai tih,me pla tukar plan..menyisihkan diri dari segala keporak poranda and pergi untuk mendiamkan diri for a while just to gain my strength again..(am i losing my strength?)aduhh...kok nggak tau sih..
bah..'HARI IBU' nda lama lagi menjelma..sempena dengan hari terindah itu..me ingin mengungkapkan rasa terima kasih yang tidak terhingga kepada insan istimewa selamanya----->PUAN ALAN GOUNGKIL~~~HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO YOU MUM..I LOVE U now and forever..May God bless you always!emmmmuaaaaahh..(KISSES FROM UR DAUGHTER)..biarpun mungkin my mum x tau mau buka BLOG or tidak tau mau buka FACEBOOK..but one thing im sure yang She Understood me in all way..kan..kan..k lah,sampai sini dulu..nti2 ada banyak g cerita mau d kasi cerita..cukup2 dulu la aa..til then,SAYONARA adion amigos~~

What EXACTLY??..

What exactly i wanted from life?apa bah yang sa mau sebenarnya?..

(~_~)..Hmm,i heard this kind of Question Over and Over again..

waktu mendengarkan soalan LAZIM sebegini..Honestly,sa cuma dapat jawab..'I Also Dont Know Either'..x tau pa yang sa mau ni..
BINGUNG!..(hey,got lots of things bah..you name it..pasti ada at least sikit mengenai apa yang kita mau sebenarnya..kan..kan..)---->PELIK@WEIRD kan..sometimes boleh feel just like that..seolah-olah,macam 'mamai2 ni'..kadang x tau pa mau dibuat..kadang terasa seperti ada something yang x kena..
WHATEVER it is..i now understand camna soalan yang seperti ini boleh keluar dari mulut 'seseorang'..BECAUSE,now...i feel the same way too..yEaH..i feel the same WAY..(~_~)

Why is it?kenapa aaa?WONDERING ni..pa pasal boleh jadi camni pla?PELIK..
ADUII...Kenapalah boleh 'jiwang DOWN-TO-EARTH camni'...(Kadang BEST juga layan BLUES skit..tp x boleh selalu..nti effect DIRI SENDIRI..haaa..sepa susah?DIRI SENDIRI juga kan..)


--->Fikir punya Fikir..sampailah migrain 'attack' ni..Adada..sampai gitu sekali sih?kok bisa?...PA BAH YANG SA MAU NIH?..somebody..please?any idea..sa x tau owh..sa benar2 x tau pa jadi suda sama sa ni..semenjak dua menjak ni,feels like macam da something jak yang akan berlaku..

GOD..HELP me....(=_~)

** JUST 4 You..and You..and You!

~Hi everyone..here i am again..it's been so long(Few days ago) since my last post..how i miss blogging..i was too busy with MY LIFE..seminar here and there..working..catching up everything..menikmati semua yang harus dinikmati sebelum semuanya diambil pergi..hehe,puitis sungguh!
well,that's what i should do instead of just letting every minutes gone without doing something..or anything..or whatever,right?..before i go too far..
i would like to dedicate this beautiful love song to YOU(you know who you are..)I LOVE YOU with all my heart..i just happened to put this song to my blog site..and hopefully ianya mampu membuat telinga2 yang mendengar merasa aman..later i'll continue blogging again..got banyak cerita2 menarik untuk dikongsi sepanjang ketiadaan sy beberapa waktu dan ketika..hehe,SO...ENJOY YOURSELF!



HANYA UNTUK MU~BUNGA CINTA LESTARI
Rasanya tak ingin berakhir

Saat kita rasa bahagia
Hidup penuh dengan misteri
Kadang sulit kita jalani
Takkan bisa sendiri
Meraih mimpi tanpa cintamu


Reff:
Terlalu indah ‘tuk dibayangkan
Terlalu manis untuk di kenang
Karena engkau ku ada di sini
Kau selalu ada di hatiku dan di cintaku
Takkan bisa sendiri
Meraih mimpi tanpa cintamu
Back to Reff:
Terima kasih telah memilihku
‘Kan ku jaga cintamu selamanya
Ku ‘kan selalu jadi yang terbaik
Melantunkan melodi terindah
Hanya untukmu....

----->MELAWAN KESEPIAN..

~it's just a simple song yang mengandungi 1001 makna yang sgt mendalam.
...this song just melt me away..
******SIGH*****

Apapun yang terjadi

Berjalanlah tanpa henti
Air mata tertahan
Waktu untuk dijatuhkan
Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apapun ini
Pelajaran yang berarti
Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku
Nanti kita kan tahu
Betapa bijaknya hidup
Sepahit apapun ini
Pelajaran yang berarti
Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku...
Semoga kepergianmu

Tak akan merubah apapun
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku
Semoga kepergianmu
Tak akan
Semoga mampu kulawan
Kesepianku
Apapun yang terjadi
Berjalanlah tanpa henti...

+AfRaiD FoR LoVe To FaDe..++

------>It's been a few days ago since my last post..a bit bz with 'THINGS' here and there..had a very exciting(kinda fun) journey with friends of mine(guys!u all are so sporting..)
+++Later i upload some photos during our ROAD to PANTAI TIMUR..macam2 ada ni..just wait aaa...just wait!
~~some say 'NIKMATI hidup ini selagi ada KESEMPATAN'..so i try my very best untuk menikmati setiap saat dan waktu yang tersisa ini..do WHATEVER i want 2 do..x kisahlah..janji,PUAS..that's what life worth for..rite?
***Thanks to My Dearest one for concerning..tho we both bz with our things but stil ada ruang untuk 'bertanyakan sesuatu'..or whatsoever untuk waktu2 yahg sangat terbatas..itu suda cukup membuat hati kecil ini terharu..pls notice that--->i am waiting for you..(^_^)..
***o ya,Got something for u..

~~P/S: I LUv ThiS SonG so much..!

--->Hmm..This song also bagus utk didengar..Malay version but tak kisahlah..janji sedap didengar..setiap bait kata yng terucap menggambarkan sesuatu yang sangat unik,menyentuh hati nurani..jiwa raga dan perasaan ini..so,here it is..

~~Just ENJOY it!

+++k lah aa..that's all for now,will continue blogging later..til then,BuBYE....God Bless!+++

++Me,Him and everything..

Ari Lasso feat. Bunga Citra Lestari - Aku Dan Dirimu
tiba saatnya kita saling bicara
tentang perasaan yang kian menyiksa
tentang rindu yang menggebu
tentang cinta yang tak terungkap
sudah terlalu lama kita berdiam
tenggelam dalam gelisah yang tak teredam
memenuhi mimpi-mimpimu malam kita
reff:
duhai cintaku, sayangku, lepaskanlah
perasaanmu, rindumu, seluruh cintamu
dan kini hanya ada aku dan dirimu
sesaat di keabadian
jika sang waktu bisa kita hentikan
dan segala mimpi-mimpi jadi kenyataan
meleburkan semua batas

antara kau dan aku...

~~syok banget layan lagu nih!
..i am resting myself here in Hotel,somewhere at Lahad Datu..a bit tiring(it's a long journey)..but i still can manage to smile after all..i just happen to open a folder of music and searching for a song to sing..i saw this kind of song then i let myself 'layan'..........best jugak..dengar2 every bait2 lagu,i feel sooooooo.......huh!what a touching song..Napalah lagu ni timbul di saat ketika ini..disaat kerinduan yang sangat menebal membara di jiwa??(Aduh..jiwang lagi..)
~~~WHERE IS MY PRINCE??..I MISS U SO MUCH LIKE CRAZY..!

PicTuReS~

Hello everyone..TESTING>>Testing..

I'm just finishing tangkap beberapa keping GAMBAR using Youcam..

mcm syok pla..at first me just want to gambar suka2 untuk koleksi peribadi..But then,nampak cantik pla(im not expert on this kind of things)

Pa2 pun..memang best la..exploring new style rambut and------------------>inilah hasil keja tangan gwe..hehe!

SaD Story..

~ I put this thing on my blog,,just to let u all know how touching i am..keep watching this..u'll feel how great love it is..this is what real love is..~